06.04.25
Purpose…. Fulfillment…. Must I get what I want, do what I wanna do, be who I wanna be to be fulfilled? Is that my purpose?
I’m finding out that… no. No I don’t, actually.
Like, if I could’ve Sims’d my life for my 20s and select what I get to do, who I get to know, where I get to live, what I get to look like, what I get to wear, etc. etc., my life would be completely different from what it is right now. In fact, in my fantasy mind, I kinda did have a Sims’d vision for my life that adolescent me just assumed would be where I was hopefully heading.
But long story short, I didn’t get there. The fantasizer stayed just that and not an actualizer. And now, I’m doing things, knowing individuals, and being and breathing in unexpected and un-special ways that Sims’d me would’ve found exasperating.
But guess what?
I’m fairly certain that I’m much happier than the Sims’d me. Things and people and life in the day-to-day grind (almost all of which is entirely out of my hands) have turned out to be much better than my fantasies could have constructed: one, they’re real; but two, more than any fantasy of mine ever could, they teach me about what it really means to love.
