06.04.25
Purpose…. Fulfillment…. Must I get what I want, do what I wanna do, be who I wanna be to be fulfilled? Is that my purpose?
I’m finding out that… no. No I don’t, actually.
Like, if I could’ve Sims’d my life for my 20s and select what I get to do, who I get to know, where I get to live, what I get to look like, what I get to wear, etc. etc., my life would be completely different from what it is right now. In fact, in my fantasy mind, I kinda did have a Sims’d vision for my life that adolescent me just assumed would be where I was hopefully heading.
But long story short, I didn’t get there. The fantasizer stayed just that and not an actualizer. And now, I’m doing things, knowing individuals, and being and breathing in unexpected and un-special ways that the Sims’d me would’ve found exasperating.
But guess what?
I’m fairly certain that I’m much happier than the Sims’d me. Things and people and life in the day-to-day grind (almost all of which is entirely out of my hands) have turned out to be much better than my fantasies could have constructed: one, they’re real; but two, more than any fantasy of mine ever could, they teach me about what it really means to love.
